An Argument for Abstinence

When we talk about abstinence from sex, people assume that they are just cutting back on pleasure. It's often thought of as some kind of pointless diet. Why in today's society, when STD preventions and contraceptives are so advanced would anyone be talk ing about waiting to have sex ? Read on!


Although we know it is safer to have sex using a condom than not using a condom, there is still no fool-proof way to avoid the possibility of getting a sexually transmitted disease or pregnancy except to choose abstinence .

One argument given for choosing abstinence is this: if a friend asked you to walk over a bridge which dropped every hundredth traveller to their death below, would you take the risk? You might if you were feeling especially crazy. Would you still take the risk if it dropped every fourth or fifth traveller? Didn't think so! Yet condoms have a "leakage" rate between 0.9% and 22.8% depending on the type of condom (latex are the best to avoid leakage). The risk can be even higher if the condom is not used correctly. Obviously, using a condom is safer than unprotected sex, but putting sex on hold for the time being is an even safer choice. Sometimes condoms slip or break. Even if the condom doesn't break, there has be en a report that even new condoms have tiny holes in them which might be big enough for a virus to pass through. Although this is unlikely to happen, it is important to either use a condom with spermicide (nonoxydol 9) that helps kill virus' or choose a bstinence.



There are benefits of putting sex off for a few years. Many people find they enjoy dating even more when sex is off limits. When you don't have to worry about the condom that broke last night or the results of a pregnancy test (if pregnancy would be unw anted) , you might find that your partner begins to care more about your feelings and personality and less about your body. If a relationship doesn't work out, it can be ended with less pain, and if it does work out, you've got a solid foundation on whic h to build a lifelong friendship - a place where sex is truly safe. One more thing. Very few people remember the seventeenth time they had sex, but everyone remembers the first time. Consider saving the lasting memory for the experience when you are r eally ready and with a partner that you really care about.


So, don't fall for these old come-ons:



Sex is not a way to solve problems and, in fact, may create new ones. Remember, if abstinence is your choice right now, it doesn't have to mean less fun. It might mean more fun later.

Are You Ready for Sex?
Outercourse
How to Put on a Condom

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This page was written by Carolyn and Jonathan Watts

This page was last updated: September 5, 1996.