I object to that false accusation. We went out into my back yard with a litre bottle of Australian brandy in search of a snake to put in it. Found a taipan under a bush but it was 7 feet long and wouldn't fit through the neck. About then we realised the volume of the serpent would displace the brandy so we drank some.
Next we found a carpet snake, 8 feet long and not venemous in any case. Being tired by then we had a couple more swigs from the bottle. At last, the perfect serpent, just 12 inches long. Alas on scrutiny it turned out to be a Death Adder, those snakes, while short, are very thick in girth...more frustration that we eased by some more brandy.
Not sure how much more searching and drinking we did as things got hazy for some reason. About then I saw it, a slender pink snake with golden eyes, a perfect fit for the bottle. Wendy was unable to see it so I lunged at it only to have my hand pass through it. Up into the air it drifted hissing 'Amazing Grace.'
We found our bottle was quite empty so abandoned the project.
Copyright (C) 1997; Tom McRae
Published with kind permission of Tom McRae, Brisbane, Australia