Duncan's Cove - Bushwhacker/Poet 1999

'Twas five nights before Christmas
And off to the Cove
Three fair maidens arrived to change their clothes.

The posse was ready for the adventures ahead.
"Follow me, follow me" Norm said.
Christie Ann and Norm drove up ahead,
While Maureen, Tanis and Sharon followed with dread.
Left turn, right turn, u-turn, wrong turn,
We followed Norm, enough said.

At the cove we arrived to find our group gone,
Not being defeated, Norm's harem pushed on.
We hiked to the left, we hiked to the right,
Norm thought it was the trail, he was not right.

Across ice and through bushes we did abound,
With moonlight above a trail was found.
Fragrant heather afoot, filled the night air
This is God's County, with none to compare.

At water's edge we prepared for our snack,
Norm, the good provider, unpacked his sack.
With sticks in our hands and matches to light,
The glow of the fire soon shone bright.

Out marshmallows, out chocolate, out crackers and all,
It's time to make s'mores, let's eat them all.
Upon the cold rocks we did sit,
Better not get haemorrhoids or else pain when we _ _ _ _.

The snacks were packed up, the fire was doused,
Now it was time to head for "the great house".
Through brush, through forest the trail was not found,
And out of the darkness there arouse such a sound.
"Help I have fallen and I can't get up"
Cried Sharon "The Poet", as she fell on her butt.

With blood on her brow and sweat on her face,
She discovered the cause, a stupid shoelace.
We gathered together with thoughts of "we can",
Then out of the bushes lay before us a dam.

With two choices ahead, decisions were made,
Traverse the great waters or bushes through, wade.
Norm made his choice and proceeded with ease,
Across the great dam, he went like the breeze.

Christie Ann and Tanis went through the brush,
Only to find piercing thorns and footing of mush.
It was at this very spot that Bush Wacker was born,
Tanis in tights, pushed on through the thorns.
With Christie Ann in her silence and Tanis in fear,
Sharon started to venture then said "I'm not going there".
Low Maintenance gathered her strength true to form,
"Oh my God," she said, "I'm following Norm!"

With the ordeal now behind them voices they did hear,
Closer and closer they drew near.
Out of the darkness arouse a great sight,
'Twas Viking and Sun God, telling tales of the "other" night hike.

One by one the Gonzo group reformed,
Many questions arose and the answer was Norm.

Now back at the start where cars were parked,
Low Maintenance unloaded more almond bark.
Everyone shared stories of their wondrous night,
"Merry Christmas to all and thanks for the hike."

Bush Wacker is still picking thorns out of her side but has made a great deal from her endorsements for the makers of Band Aids, The Poet is pursuing legal action against Nike with Jim, The Hammer, Shapiro (the slip and fall accident lawyer), for faulty shoelaces, Low Maintenance has gone to France to study the finer art of almond bark making, Christie Ann was last seen with Norm and both are presumed lost.