Error 404:
That Page Is Still On Break

or

Who's Home When The Web Page Isn't

by
Norman L. De Forest
Beacon Correspondent
with
Andrew D. Wright

 

          The infamous 404 - Page Not Found code has become one of the Internet's most widely known messages. The hosting server has to tell you something when they can't fill your web page request. Some servers choose to add a little color to their messages, maybe help make up for the fact that you aren't going to get what you were looking for. Some of them maybe have a little too much time on their hands. Here's some more of the more unusual signposts of web oblivion.

          Nope, we're not paranoid here....

 

The file that you are trying to access just isn't on this server.
We are so sorry. There can be a few reasons for this:

  1. The file that you are trying to load into your browser isn't on this server.

  2. The link that you clicked was misspelled. Contact the webmaster of the site you were visiting.

  3. You are part of a sick and twisted plot to get as many 404 errors as possible by one website.

     

Originating site: http://error.ucanweb.com/404.htm.

 

          This has a familiar ring to it. Cute graphic too....

 

Oh my God, You Got a 404 Error! You Bastards!

The Document you have requested could not be found on this server it has possibly been abducted by the Visitors who are at this very moment doing an anal probe on it. Please click here to go to the homepage, or use your Browser's back button to return to the previous page.

 

Originating site: http://www.southpark.co.uk/404.html.

 

          What 404 collection is complete without a poetry corner....

 

The web site you seek
cannot be located
but endless others exist.
404.

 

Originating site: http://208.196.56.244/form2.htx.

 

          Some just don't know when to quit....

 

JokeWallpaper.com Error 504

The page you requested was not found - file doesn't exist or is read protected [even tried multi-grain and whole wheat]


Unable to open the Web page you requested. The site reports that the item you requested could not be found. Although the site reports it did find your missing dark green sock, Jimmy Hoffa's body, and a U.S. Air Force warehouse in Utah that has a collection of UFOs.


If you would like to send an e-mail to our Webmaster to inform her of the error, send it to: 
shenna-warrior-princess@jokewallpaper.com.

Error 504 "Relaxed Fit" Blue-Jeans from Levi Strauss. "Relaxed Fit" is a nice way of saying your butt is too big to fit into our regular jeans.

 

Originating site: http://www.jokewallpaper.com/images/index.html.

 

          And you just thought the page was gone....

 

ERROR 404
The page you are looking for could not be found on this server.

You may have received this error for a number of reasons:

  • You may have mistyped the resource's URL.

  • The resource may have moved.

  • The resource may no longer exist.

  • The ever-present forces of darkness have conspired against you to prevent you from viewing this link at this time.

 

Originating site: http://sites.odyssey.com.au/errors/missing.html.

 

          Web pages hate it when you anthropomorphize them....

 

404 Error - File Not Found

Hmmm ...seems one of our pages hasn't returned from its coffee break - we'll need to dock its pay. In the meantime, you can go to our main page and see if you can find it from there.

 

Originating site: http://www.sendcoffee.com/oops.html.

 

          Why we need more lawyers....

 

303 Error
The requested silverbox was not found on this server.

This website is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Edited for television. Some assembly required. Take with food. Approved for veterans. Batteries not included. First pull up, then pull down. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Not the Beatles. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Apply only to infected area. May be too intense for some viewers. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on package. Won't you turn your radio down? Respect the seven second delay we use. Subject to change without notice. Times are approximate. Simulated picture. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. We use a butter substitute. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For home use only. Not affiliated with anyone else. You're gonna lose with Mr. Booze. Drop in any mailbox. That's what you get for pretending the danger's not real. Keep cool and process promptly. List was current at time of printing. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Penalty for private use. Penalty for commercial use. Penalty for any use. Get it? Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. No loitering. See label for more info. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Do not be misled by your ears- no conventional instrumentation or sound effects were used. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Though your fingers may tickle, you'll be safe in our pickle. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. Ok, so I wrote below that line. Now what? You must be present to win. You can be anywhere to lose. Extra crispy not available in all locations. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Double occupancy suggested. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Pre-recorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. If you want it, come and get it. But you better hurry cuz it's going fast. No transfers issued until this bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary.

This supercedes all previous notices.
Anything excluded will be deemed included.

 

Originating site: http://www.synthfool.com/x.

 

          Someone else trying to cover all the possibilities....

 

ERROR 404: Not Found - I hate that!!

The document you are looking for doesn't exist for one of the following reasons:

  1. You typed the wrong address

  2. The Hyperlink you clicked has the wrong address

  3. It never existed

  4. It exists, but in another space-time realm

  5. We thought this page had more content

  6. Someone put it through the shredder by accident

  7. Our server doesn't like you

If you are convinced that this error is our doing, email us.

 

Originating site: http://www.powerdatatech.com/badfilename.htmlll.

 

          Want more? Believe it or not an entire 404 subculture has sprung up and collections of these messages can now be found, some even organized by genre. Here's some links to get you started.

 

You may direct comments or suggestions about this article to:

Norman L. De Forest,  af380@chebucto.ns.ca

 

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