Documentation on the haggis ( Haggis haggis caledonensis, L.) is
extensive but gives varying accounts of its anatomy. Perhaps the
commonest conception of it is as a small three-legged animal
having one leg somewhat longer than the others such that it can
conveniently run around the Scottish hills in a clockwise
direction. The haggis hunting technique called for great stealth
in that the hunter would creep up behind the unsuspecting beast
until he approached within three kilt-lengths of it, whereupon he
gave vent to a loud sound, produced either by the vocal outburst
"gu dearbh!" (freely translated "gotcher") or, in the case of
more accomplished hunters, by a sustained note on the bagpipe
chanter, with rapidly interpolated grace notes at a frequency
interval 25/27 lower, this somewhat eerie sound being said to
resemble the call of a long-extinct predatory relative of the
curlew ( Numenius arquata, L.) - also known in Scotland as the
"whaup". Only out-of-province hunters would think of taking a
complete set of bagpipes on the hill, because of the considerable
encumbrance they presented during the stalking.
.
When the sound had been made, the haggis, surprised, would turn
suddenly around and, now unbalanced because of his new attitude
upon the slope of the hill, would generally fall over and be
unable to regain his feet before capture.
.
It appears that, as a result of this predation, an evolutionary
trend developed in the haggis whereby the beast became more adept
at looking behind without moving his feet. While some have
attributed this adaptation to interbreeding with the short-eared
owl ( Asio flammeus, L.), no serious credence can be given to
this suggestion as the mechanism of turning in the haggis must
have arisen from greater flexibility in the pelvic joints rather
than in the neck (which, it can be asserted without reasonable
doubt, was never part of the haggis anatomy).
.
As a result of its greater elusiveness, the haggis began to
disappear from the dinner table. Fortuitously, at this time, it
was discovered that a reasonable synthesis could be achieved by
the mixing of local grains with the finely chopped pluck of a
sheep. Even the original appearance of the table-dressed haggis
was realised in facsimile by the introduction of this mixture
into the sheep's stomach or intestine, thus making it, at the
same time. the first boil-in-bag convenience food.
.
The coming of the 20th century saw the introduction of plastic
substitutes for the intestine bag (which had always been prone to
rupture while boiling) and many haggises are now made this way.
It is held, however, that a more convenient way to cook haggis is
to use a pudding basin to hold the mixture and thus boil it in a
similar way to a steamed (or Christmas) pudding. To some extent
this avoids the pretence that the genuine Haggis haggis
caledonensis is being served up, an affectation which will not
impress many people, as it is widely known that the retiring
animal is now a protected species, sighted but rarely in the
remoter parts of the Scottish Highlands and thought, though not
proven, to exist in parts of Cape Breton Island and
Otago
.
You may care to look at the current availability of
specimens of
haggis.
.
The above document was first published by Alasdair McKay in 1977 and
has since been plagiarised extensively by other writers. Permission to
circulate the text is freely given provided that the origin is
acknowledged and the author's name together with this notice is always
attached to the text.