Thomas Callahan and I met on line in late February of 1999. Thomas was in Cornerbrook, Newfoundland, visiting his parents and extended family and I had just started a three week vacation at home in Halifax. After a couple of weeks of communicating by phone and chatting on line we set up a date for the evening of Thomas' return to Halifax. High winds delayed his ferry's departure from Port aux Basque - not an unusual occurrence for that time of the year. Instead we planned a dinner at my home for the following evening which also happened to be St. Patrick's Day. In hind sight it seems fitting to have fallen for this little Irish gentleman who has brought such joy to my life on that patron saint's day. (he's my little leprechaun)
Over the two weeks of long distance communication I had come to believe that Thomas was a genuinely happy person who was honest, caring and generous. Upon meeting him in person I discovered that my first impressions were true and that he also had dancing green eyes that seemed wise and caring as well as a warm happy smile that filled my heart with sunshine. We developed feelings for each other very quickly and by summer were spending most of our time together. Thomas does bring sunshine into my life. We have a wonderful relationship which continues to bring joy to both of us.
In 2002 after much consideration we decided that we would build a home together. Thomas had moved in with me and shared the home Dan (my previous partner) and I had caringly renovated over 17 years. We both loved being downtown and the house was now our home. However, we had started to consider the idea of having children and would need to make some changes in order to do so. We also wanted to create our home. So we began designing a house to build on a piece of land we had purchased in the community of Three Fathom Harbour on the Eastern Shore. This spot was almost two acres of woodland on Porters Lake - minutes from Lawrencetown Beach, hiking trails, and lesser known beaches and surrounded by beautiful scenery. It was a great experience and by the time we had finished we were both very pleased with the results. The house is larger than we realized however it is great for entertaining and we have been able to accommodate some friends and family for a week or more at various times while they were in transition - with a minimal disruption to our daily schedule. In 2003 hurricane Juan tested the home and it came through with flying colour - although we lost hundreds of trees. Imagine going to bed in a house that is very private, reached by a long tree lined driveway and waking up in a house that is basically now in a field! It will be a while before our landscaping efforts become obvious...
In November of 2003 we attended our first adoption information session. It was an introductory session which was to help us decide if this really was something to pursue. The session just strengthened our commitment and we decided to proceed. Now that we were settled into a new home with prospects of creating a family some day it seemed like the right time to take the next step. On November 11 I proposed to Thomas. Within a week we had set a date, December 13, and were making arrangements. We would have to go to Ontario as same gender marriages couldn't be performed in Nova Scotia at that time - that, of course, has now changed! Our close friends and neighbours Jeff and Ray would be joining us in Toronto and new friends Sandy and Darren (future neighbours on our cove) had invited us to stay with them in Toronto. We had a small civil ceremony at a wedding chapel in Toronto City Hall. Some of Thomas' cousins also joined us. It was a beautiful day which will remain in our hearts forever. In May of 2004 we had a reception at our home. It was a large affair and many of Thomas' family were able to be there (including all of his immediate family and his Nan Duffy) some of Tim's family, and many friends completed the picture. By that time we had just completed parenting classes and were waiting for our home study to take place and hopefully for approval to adopt. It took seven more months for that to transpire. In January of 2005 we were approved. We attended two special needs adoption days - both difficult yet empowering. It was difficult to see so many children in need of a permanent home and loving family and empowering because it gave us an opportunity to be more involved in the process. By early July we had had discouraging news about all the children we had requested to be considered for with the exception of two and we were feeling very discouraged. Although one of them was secretly the one we both felt was special and perfect for us we felt it was a real long shot that we would be selected. On July 13th I got home from a meeting in the valley later than I expected and shortly after I arrived home Thomas called. He asked me if I was sitting down and then proceeded to tell me we had been selected as parents for a five year old boy. I was completely overwhelmed! He was the one! We spent that evening tearful and excited and scared as we told our family and dear friends!
As we walked home from our next door neighbour's carrying our young sleeping son, after having toasted to the new year (2006) with our good friends Jeff and Ray, I thought back to New Years Eve five years ago. We had dreamed of not having to get into the car and drive home to downtown Halifax. We were to build on the lot next door the following summer but it felt like a lifetime away. I hardly dared to dream at that time of a Callahan-Cross family complete with young son sharing their first New Years Eve! We are both loving fatherhood. Our son has brought even more happiness and joy into our lives. He is doing very well and is such a bright, delightful, happy boy!
I feel like I've been blessed in my life. My first relationship was wonderful. Dan was a best friend and loving partner for 20 years until his death in December of 1998. Meeting Thomas was so unexpected. He has gotten to know Dan through me and at times I forget they never knew each other. His generosity of spirit has made room for appreciation of our pasts as they inform our future together. I think we bring out the best in each other - we certainly enjoy the happiness we share. And now life with our son is so rich. When we were waiting to adopt I looked forward to watching Thomas with our children and knew he would be an exceptional parent. I was right. Nothing could fill my heart with more joy then watching my two guys together. Seeing such love and happiness is everything! And I think Dan is smiling - I know he continues to bring good things into my life.
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Canada Day 04 Thomas and Tim with our new canoe; Wedding Reception at home May
29 04
New Home - Three Fathom Harbour; Front - Jan 05, From the canoe July 04
Queeries about us,
any of the above, comments and hellos 
Created on February 2005