sex-spam boilerplate response.

[Sent to spammer's ISP.]

Please make them stop sending me this stuff.

My mommy and my daddy don't like me looking at these things.

I had help finding out where to send this
but I typed it in all by myself.

[ I just don't bother to tell them my age (60) or the fact that the "help" was from Sam Spade. ]

pyramid spam boilerplate:

[abuse@<spammer's ISP> or postmaster@<spammer's ISP> goes here]
US Postal Inspection Service <>, 
National Fraud Information Center <>,

Illegal pyramid scheme.

Thank you for your unwanted and illegal e-mail pyramid scheme. Your
e-mail has been forwarded to the FTC (

You have also been reported to the National Fraud Information Center
(NFIC), a non-governmental organization which deals with these things.
This agency ( was formed by large commercial
companies and the state's attorneys general. Their purpose is
organize, classify, and forward potential fraud material  to the
appropriate body: the state Attorney General, FTC, FBI, Secret
Service, etc.

As this sort of email fraud falls under the jurisdiction of postal fraud
when the mail is used to receive payment, a copy of your post has also
been forwarded to the US Postal Inspection Service (

In addition, by copy of this email, your Internet Provider's Postmaster
or abuse department has also been notified of your illegal message.

Chain letters are a form of gambling, and sending them through the
mail (or delivering them in person or by computer, but mailing money
to participate) violates Title 18, United States Code, Section 1302,
the Postal Lottery Statute. If in doubt, see the U.S. Postal Service's
confirmation of this fact at or .

It is also in violation of Section 206 (1) (e) of the Criminal Code of 
Canada which you can see at
and in violation of Section 55.1 of the Competition Act (C-34) of
Canada which can be found at:  .

[ Next paragraph deleted if not applicable or changed if they are "selling" memberships on a mailing list: ]

Note that "selling" a "report" does not convert this from an illegal
pyramid scheme to a legitimate Multi-Level Marketing plan if the only
incentive for "buying" the "report" is to get in on the pyramid.

Have a nice day.

Product or service spam response:

[Sent if there is a chance the spammer is an Internet "newbie" who doesn't know any better.]

May I suggest that you take the time to read some of the resources at:

"Using the Internet To Advertise Successfully (An Index)"


Opt-In Email information:

"We are not opposed to Commerce"

"Help for marketers"

"Some good ways to market on the Internet"

Marketing on the Internet without Spamming

"Advertising on Usenet: How To Do It, How Not To Do It"


"FAQ: How To Announce Your New Web Site"

and then eschew the use of Unsolicited Commercial E-mail as a means of 
advertising in the future?

Other sites you might find enlightening are:

Spam Laws

Welcome...Information Commissioner/data protection/freedom of Information

data protection guidance & other publications

Data Protection Act 1998

The Australian Privacy Commissioner's Web site

Guides to the Personal Information Protection and Electronic Documents Act

MAPS RBL Candidacy

Midday Express

Spam Costs Users $9.4 Billion - EU Study

Commission study:
"Junk" e-mail costs internet users euro 10 billion a year worldwide

ROWAN v. U. S. POST OFFICE DEPT.  , 397  U.S. 728 (1970)

Save the Internet: Stop Spam

Whitehat Inc.
Whitehat Inc.  -- introduction

"Why is spam bad?"

"Why spam is bad"

"The Email Abuse FAQ, Version 2.02"

It would be a shame if you lost the good will of potential customers
[or supporters] by engaging in sending UCE and getting associated with
others who do -- those sending illegal pyramid schemes or (sometimes)
marginally-legal Multi-Level Marketing schemes, dubious weight-loss
formulae, web-promotion services by those who promise to increase your
site's exposure in search-engines (and have fewer links show up in the
search engines than my site does when I not even trying to get the
exposure), pornographic web sites, gambling services illegal in the
countries they advertise to, baldness cures, sex books, illegal
credit-repair scams, dubious "make $10,000 per week in your spare time"
schemes, and junk mail software and lists of e-mail addresses guaranteed
to be targeted but are virtually certain to contain the address of
everyone who has ever complained about junk e-mail on the newsgroup.

Had I encountered your site, product, or service by any other means, 
I may have become a customer [or supporter] of yours.  However, as is
stated at

on my web site,

     "I refuse to purchase ANYTHING that is advertised
      by means of Unsolicited Commercial E-mail."

Since your message appears to be promoting legitimate products or
services [or causes] your mass e-mailing may have been done in ignorance
of Internet etiquette so I am giving you the benefit of the doubt and
am not informing your ISP this time.

I will welcome any queries from you on this subject provided you really
wish to learn more about how to market your products or services without
spamming.  I do not welcome any more promotions.

Informatively yours,

anti-relay info for Japan:


Below my signature block is a copy of a recent message that arrived in my 
mailbox.  Somebody in the United States of America has made unauthorised
use of your computer to relay Unsolicited Commercial Email.

Information on preventing this can be found at:

More information but only in English can be found at:

Sincerely and helpfully yours,

[ I was using the URL, in my boilerplates but have been informed that it is no longer valid. ]