I try

I try not to cry,
But I can't help it,
I try to laugh,
But it will never happen,
I try to run,
But I am frozen with fear,
I try to be with you,
So I can hold you near.
I try to tell the truth,
But I always tell a lie,
I try to live forever,
Never wanting to die.
I try to listen,
i try,...
But I cant.