Address to a Haggis:
Fair fa' your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the pudden race.
Abune them a' ye tak' your place -
Painch, tripe or thairm.
Weel are ye worthy o' a grace
As lang 's my airm.
Loch Ness Monster
IN DEFENCE OF NESSIE
"Have you ever studied a rhino close-up?
Take my word for it, it's a certified monster ...
it's impossible ... but there it is.
Study an elephant objectively, or a rhino,
or a hyena, or an aardvark, or a duck-billed platypus,
or some of the creatures of the sea
we already know about - the octopus, for instance.
They were 'monsters' at one time too.
Perhaps with some better pictures,
the Loch Ness monster will become civilized."
The Legend of Ground Hog Day
is based on an old Scottish couplet:
"If Candlemas Day is bright and clear,
there'll be two winters in the year."
Will the European Beaver
return to its old Scottish haunts?