Understanding Angry Behaviours
Consider the consequences of each...1. AGGRESSIVE: Anger is expressed overtly to hurt another, physically, emotionally or psychologically.
Behaviour choices: hitting, kicking, harassment, using put-downs, threats, murder
Message to myself: My anger is not OK so I will make someone else responsible. I will blame someone else because I am afraid of my feelings. Note: This is typical of men who abuse "their" partners.
2. PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE: Anger is repressed by internalizing and
3. ASSERTIVE: A. Anger is expressed directly in non-threatening ways that do not hurt a. Yourself, b. Another person or c. Someone's property. B. Anger is suppressed (Not repressed) by acknowledging the feeling and by you making the decision to deal with the situation it at a more appropriate time in the near future. I.e. After school.
Behaviour choices: "I" statements that clearly share feelings and
what you need from the other person, time out, private yelling, journal