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A Statement from the publisher of The Notional Pest 
(from issue of Feb. 14, 2001)
Conrad Black, the publisher of The National Post, affirmed today that he has taken 'steps' to shut down The Notional Pest. In a statement that appeared today in his flagship newspaper, The Daily Telegraph, Mr. Black said (in part) the following:

"I cannot stand idly by and see stupid, plagiaristic siht (sic) like The Notional Pest continue with its disgusting and banal coverage of the so-called news .... I will bring all my considerable legal resources to bare (sic) on the case. Dr. Lip Shit (sic) may think he can continue publishing his silly 'news' but heel (sic) think again when a ceese (sic) and disist (sic) order is shoved up ... I'll refrase (sic) that ... shoved in, his ukly (sic) face..."

The Publisher responds:

I am wounded beyond measure that Mr. Black would take such a position, but I will not respond in kind other than to say I am surprised that his statement reveals he has such a poor command of English, especially spelling. He should at least have tried to spell my name right.

Fred W. Lipschitz, Publisher.

Lipschitz Sounds Off >>
Jean Chrétien holds such total power that we are fast becoming a dictatorship on the 'banana republic' model. That isn't so funny.

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Tell Scott and Crusty what you think and about any national or local stories you would like Notional Pest to dig into.

Only lawyers issuing threats are not welcome and will be counter sued for harassment. A word of caution: please don't send us anything containing obscene suggestions, especially those physically impossible to carry out.

The sender of the hundredth e-mail to either Crusty or Scott will win an admission ticket to Question Period in the Commons on a day when the Prime Minister is guaranteed not to be in attendance.

You can reach Crusty and Scott by E-mail to let them know what really pisses you off!

Send your rocket by clicking on one of the following:

Scott Upchuck (Local & National News)

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Pensées du jour
When you get older you lose interest in sex, your friends drop away, your children ignore you. There are many other advantages, of course, but these would seem to be the outstanding ones
-- Richard J. Needham

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Now, you take my wife. I can take her anywhere and she always finds her way home.
-- Henney Youngman

A true library is a collection of books just as much as a toolbox is a collection of tools.
-- Fred W. Lipschitz

Question du Jour
What famous German philosopher, who died a virgin. stood up at an eighteenth century philosopher's convention and shouted, "I can think anything deeper than you can, I can think anything deeper than you!" ?
-- Immanuel Kant, in Königsberg. Prussia, in 1724